Catty Cat

Dear Gracie:

The cat hissez at me all the time.  I am nice to her but she still hissez at me.  Yesterday she was hiding behind the couch and when I walked by she stuck out her paw and tried to claw my face off.  I am nothing but nice to her and she is nothing but mean to me.  How can I make her like me?

Your friend,
Casper

Dear Casper,

Are you a dog or a mouse?  Stand up to that catty attitude.  Pass a little gasssssss  whenever you walk by where she is or better yet,  right about the time when you need your anal glands taken care of, blanket her with lots and lots of love i.e. close quarters and rubbing up against the mischievous little troublemaker.  Mom and Dad will think it's cute.  But she will detest you for it.  Oh.  Wait a minute.  Your question was how can you make her like you?  That, my friend, I do not know.  I'd suggest getting even instead. 

Good luck,

Gracie