I libs in a place where it snows lots dis time ob year. Da cold snow on my pawseees coz me dissstress but I twy to tell da owner/mistress/human-in-charge "No boots, me do not like boots" but she put dem boots on me anyways n I wun in circulars twying to get away from da boots but they be followin me where evers I go. Gracie why do da human in charge torture me dis way? Shall I gnarl and show my teef next times arounds? Shall I show her hoos boss in dis house? Or do I need to lib in da disgwace and humility of wed bootsies on my footsies?
Tortured
Dear Tortured,
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor you. I believe a pity party may be in order. Let's all count to three. One. Two. Three. Ahhhhhhhhhhh
Live in my
Gracie
My mom, trying to lure me into the bathroom with her. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. |