Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Selfish Peeps Need To Share
My Peeps have been mean spirited and have refused to give us extra snacks and luxury foods. They eat them all themselves. We do ask but mostly they ignore us and our pleading eyes. Pip and I have decided enough is enough. We want to stage a protest. What do you think would be the best approach? Foodables are there to be shared are they not? We'd share our dog food if they asked. Yours miserable of Suburbia.
Best wishes Molly
Dear Miserable of Suburbia AKA Molly,
Yea, yea, yea... I get it. There is no one pup more experienced in this thing than I. Never fear, dear furry friend. I have the answer! Protests are good, but we must remember - holding signs and marching around the house will not get us what we want. No - no. Our peeps see this thing as 'cute' and keeping us busy so we're not bothering them. You will want to do something to really get their attention. FYI pooping on the floor won't work (wrong kind of attention). The next time the peeps are selfish around you and refuse to share the good stuff, go to the far corner of the room and fling yourself to the floor. Find the most pathetic face that you own and wear it. Lay there. Motionless. Try not to make eye contact. That just makes them think you're begging for attention. If they call your name, ignore them. Even if they mention some key words like 'walk' or 'go'... pretend you are too ill to respond. I promise you, the next words from the peeps mouths will be ones that will try to bring you back from your sad, pitiful, coma-like state and will include 'see if she'll eat a cookie' and 'try a chunk of your pizza.. she's always liked pizza.' Pip should try this approach as well. This protest is tried and true. Guaranteed to turn those selfish peeps into loving, caring, sharing saints. Good luck, my friend.